Entry 6: Adulting Sucks
Hello everyone! Thank you so much for all the positive feedback from last week’s entry. It was definitely a vulnerable one, but it was so great having people reach out saying they related to it. It just shows that you’re not alone in your thoughts and feelings, even if it sometimes feels that way. This week, I want to talk about how being an adult is hard.
I didn’t really consider myself an adult until I was 22 and graduated from IU. I had just moved to Charlotte, started my first “big girl” job, and was paying for everything on my own. What’s weird to think about is that I had technically already been an adult for four years at that point. I don’t know about you, but from the ages of 18–22, I felt like a grown child. In what world was I an adult expected to make adult decisions?? Now that I’m 25, I still view people younger than 22 as kids. Honestly, even at 25, there are times when I still feel like I’m 18. I truly have not accepted that I’ll be 26 next month.
May 2022, right before IU graduation. Officially entering adulthood!
As a kid, I never understood how adults knew which bills to pay and when, and I genuinely thought that would be the hardest part about adulthood. In reality, that’s one of the easiest parts. Rent is due on the 1st, electric on the 6th, and the car payment on the 8th. I have it all on my calendar and make sure everything gets paid on time. The hardest part is realizing how much you have to do on your own. Although it’s nice being an adult in the sense that I have adult money, can make my own decisions, and can choose whatever I want for my life, it still comes with its difficulties.
Making friends was the number one thing I was most worried about when graduating college. I had always been part of clubs, had teammates, and was around my friends all the time. So moving to a new city where I knew nobody made me nervous about whether I’d find friends. It is hard to make new friends after graduation. I got lucky that I quickly found a great group in Charlotte, but it took time and effort. You have to be intentional with your time and willing to put yourself out there. You no longer have the convenience of going to school with your friends or living within a five‑minute radius of them. You really have to put yourself out there and be okay with it taking time to build your new community.
On top of building a new community, you also have to manage your existing relationships. Everyone has different schedules between work and other obligations, people live in different time zones, and life just gets busy. Communication goes both ways, and you have to do your part in maintaining your friendships. As I mentioned in a previous entry, sometimes friendships just phase out. I’ve had multiple of those, especially after high school and college. We were no longer in our bubbles, and we mutually didn’t put in the effort to continue. However, for the friendships that I have maintained throughout the years, we both put in effort and wanted to invest in our friendships. I even have a friendship that has lasted for 23 years (shoutout Cass).
There’s so much more to being an adult, and truthfully, the hardest part is working. I’m thankful that I have great coworkers and that I like my job enough. However, I can’t believe I’ll be working almost every single day for the next 40 years or so. There are days when I’m sitting in the office and I realize, wow, this is really it. This will be my life. Obviously, there are still tons of things to look forward to, and your life isn’t only work, but work is a huge part of it. You spend more time with your coworkers and working than doing anything else or being with anyone else. This has been the hardest pill for me to swallow because it just seems so dull and boring. I’m so happy I took the time to travel last year, but now I wish that was something I could do forever. I find myself constantly daydreaming about full‑time travel. Unfortunately, money and visas exist, and that’s just not in the cards. Lots of people spend their lives not liking their jobs and end up miserable. Obviously, it’s important to be in a job that supports your life, but I don’t think it’s ever worth being in something you genuinely hate. Too much of our life is dedicated to work, and that would be so much wasted time doing something you aren’t happy with.
I always thought adults had everything figured out and knew how to handle everything—and wow, that is not true. I have no idea what’s going on. A lot of being an adult is just figuring it out as you go and learning from your mistakes. There are plenty of things I wish I could have done differently, but you learn, you grow, and you move on. There are still many times when I need my parents for help or advice. They’ve experienced the same things and can lend a helping hand. Realizing that you don’t have to do it all on your own has been so healing. I can reach out to people for help. They’re probably looking for help too.
Being an adult is hard, and I don’t think anyone really loves it. I think we all wish we could go back to being kids without a care in the world. But that’s not how life works. We all have to clock back in tomorrow at 8 AM and continue doing so for a very long time. We’re all adults who are really just kids at heart. This is everyone’s first time living, and none of us know what life has in store. Although we have obligations and responsibilities, I think it’s important to find every opportunity to do something you want to do. Go get drinks with your friends, book a vacation, go shopping, or go to a concert. Do everything you can to appreciate the life you have.
Sincerely,
Courtney